I have been Kidnapped

When I did my very first blog post asking friends and family to help celebrate my 40 days to 40 years Dad and Darla claimed this weekend but wanted to keep the destination as a surprise. I had no idea where we were going and have tried to guess for weeks.

Today they showed up at the house at 7am with breakfast for the kids. They informed the kids they were kidnapping their mom to return her by 5pm Sunday.

When we got to Buffalo, Texas, I was so excited to see if we were going north or south. We headed north on 45, to Dallas I thought. We made it to Corsicana where we stopped at the Collins Street Bakery and I got the cutest mini fruitcake. Then we headed Russell Stover candy factory where I picked up birthday candy.

We got back on the road where we had a unexpected turn on 31East. At least it was unexpected to me because I'm still thinking we are going to Dallas. At that point I had no idea where I was going and the anticipation was killing me. I get on my phone and asked Matt what is on 19. He guessed it immediately.  He texted back saying, "I'm 100% sure where you're going but I'm not telling you. Sit back and enjoy your weekend."

As we arrived in Canton I was so excited. I haven't been to Canton in years. I always say I'm going to go but I never do. Darla had bought me a new 40 shirt that said Forty and Fabulous. It was cute because about five minutes after we got to our destination Matt texted, "How is Canton?" He guessed right. The only thing they said was we have to leave here at 2 pm to make it to your other surprise stop. 2 pm came and I was so excited. I was thinking what would be better then staying in Canton?

As we arrived in Paris, Texas I will filled with shock because I have always wanted to go here. This town is so cute. It is prom weekend. People are everywhere down town taking pictures of the fountain. I could have people watched all evening but, we had so much to do. We went to a few antique stores on the square and headed to what I thought was going to be a hotel. It ended up being the sweetest Bed & Breakfast called Old Magnolia House.  When we arrived they had a gift waiting on me from the City of Paris. Like how cool was that?? I'm staying in the Rose Room. It has a claw foot tub in the room. The decorations and everything is so quaint. I love it!!! We ate at the Fish Fry. It was yummy! They sang Happy Birthday to me and gave me a dinner roll with a candle. I have to admit the food was amazing. Our next stop was the movies where I watched an adult movie not geared towards kids.
I'm very blessed dad and Darla took the time out of there lives for me. I have had a fabulous day and one of my favorite parts is how everyone keep it a surprise.

What I love

 I thought I would share my likes and dislikes with you. I'm unique at times. At least that is what I have been told. Some even say I am an out of the box thinker. I love to try new things and experience different cultures. I think of myself as creatively unique. With that lead in let's get right to my likes and dislikes.

I love Coors rosebud dishes. They are dishes that were made in the USA during World War II by the Coors Bottling Company when they were not making beer.
I dislike antiques. They scare me. There are spirits that attach to the objects and then you bring them in your house. No thanks, I will pass.

I love Grands biscuits from the can.
I dislike homemade biscuits

I love to be on a balcony hotel and watch the beach.
I dislike being where sand gets in my toes.

I love to travel.
I dislike traveling out of the country.

I love plain cheesecake.
I dislike cake.

I love rodeos.
I dislike sports.

I love doing silly things.
I dislike getting tied down to logistics.

I love taxidermist animals.
I dislike live animals.

I love eating at restaurants I have never been to before. Yelp app is my best friend.
I dislike chain restaurants (except McDonalds and Taco Bell).

I love playing games on the computer/phone.
I dislike board games.

I love chocolate milk.
I dislike whole milk.

I love jewelry.
I dislike wearing it.

I love shopping on line.
I dislike that I never buy anything.

I love to eat.
I dislike cooking.

I love Hobby Lobby.
I dislike Michaels.

I love getting caught in the rain.
I dislike thunder.

I love driving around looking at land on a Sunday.
I HATE putting gas in the car (that is probably why I run out of gas so very often!)

I love buying wine.
I dislike drinking wine.

I love well dressed kids.
I dislike parents that dress better then thier kids.

I love Halloween.
I dislike when the school is open and it is a holiday.

I love the smell of grass freshly cut.
I dislike the smell of meat cooking on a pit.

I love eggs Benedict
I dislike pancakes

I love the smell of gas and Sharpie King Size Permanent Markers. I love my family and friends. I can't tell you how blessed I have been that people really read my blog. I'm shocked everyday when I get a message, someone shares my blog or I get a comment. I never really know what I'm going to blog about from day to day but what I do know is I have 23 more days to go. In this short 17 days I have learned so much about me. Some blogs I write bring me to tears and some I have to really think about, only me and my thoughts and feelings. One made me almost quit blogging all together. I still don't know why I feel the need to tell the world about me and my life to 40 but I do.

Learning from Others

I always pick a cause on the internet. Something that means something to someone else but has nothing to do with me. Like a blog or a Facebook page of people telling their story. I don't know these people personally except Jennifer Ortiz and Angie. I truly just read what they write, comment only encouraging words and pray really hard for them. I believe doing this daily helps me have compassion and understanding for others fighting battles that I can't see. It is a daily reminder to be kind to others because you never know their story.

One of my favorite blogs in Another day Stronger. When I started reading that back in 2012 the author could bring you to your knees with how she handled the loss of her first baby to SIDS. Her pain leaped off the page and broke your heart day after day. I always wished I could do more for her. It has been years since I have read her blog and today when I went to get the address for you I clicked on the one about them moving and just started crying. Her pain is so raw I wish no mom ever had to experience losing a child. If you have time go read the blog. Start from the beginning if you can. The address is http://kandjstaats.blogspot.com/

Jennifer Ortiz is an acquaintance of my from the pageant world. She has a beautiful daughter and just had a fairytale wedding to Mike. They got pregnant with their son who had a stroke while in the womb. Jude just passed away this month and had a beautiful service. He was 7 year old. That little boy inspired so many people to do good things. I can't imagine how much pressure this has to be on a marriage. Jen used a lot of medical terms in her blog and I googled alot but she is that mom that would do anything, learn and read anything so she could to make Jude's quality of life better. She challenged the medical field head-on at times and won. I always admired her for that. When I went to her blog today I clicked on a link on how they are dealing with their grief. It makes my heart hurt for them as they find a new normal. Ch: eck out her blog at http://cjengo.blogspot.com/

My next blog is my friend Angie's called Signature. She is a socialite in Houston. She has the best clothes, jewelry, and shoes. She always looks like she has it all. She doesn't talk a lot about being lonely. She keeps herself really busy, but sometimes her life makes me sad, either because I don't have it or I think she deserves so much more. I can't make up my mind which. God has a plan for her and we have all been waiting patiently. If you get a chances read Angie's blog at http://signature-you.blogspot.com/

Now on to my Facebook pages. Jacob's Fight is a good one https://m.facebook.com/ 

It randomly came across my news feed one day. It is of a teenage boy fighting cancer and everyday I'm blown away by his fight. It looks like they have an amazing support system and really tries to keep his life as normal as possible. I admire them so much because I'm sure it can't be easy.

I also like Prays for Dane Lancaster, Prayer Chain for Ava and Bringing Home the Browns and a few more. There are hundreds of thousands on facebook. I encourage you to look for one that speaks to you. 

https://m.facebook.com/thevelcropygmies/   Lastly I want to tell you about The Velcro Pygmies. I don't even know how to say there name. This band had one band mate and his brother that went fishing to never returned. After weeks of searching the water both of them were found. To be honest I fell in love with this story. I couldn't help but livestream the news in their hometown to follow the search. As I got on their page the other day to check on them I was delighted to see they are playing in Bryan College Station on the 28th of April. That is tonight!!! I have never heard a song of theirs and I am not going to until I get there tonight. By looking at their pictures I'm not sure I will even understand the music, but we are going. So if you see a 39 year old LOOKING grandmother at The Tap with her plus one Maranda and husband thinking I'm crazy sticking out like a sore thumb that would be us. I'm going to go for Jacob and Jeremiah to show my last respect.

                                                              **UPDATE***
Landon had a baseball game in Teague last night so we headed that way at 5:00pm. My baby hit an in the park homerun! When the game was over we headed home as usual. Got the little kids to bed and told Thomas of course we were leaving and we would be back. The sitter came and we made it to the concert at 11:30pm. I told Matt let me have two drinks one to honor each of the boys and we can go. Four drinks later we closed the BAR down.. The lead singer kept calling me a cougar and I didn't get it and when I got in the truck I realized we hadn't changed clothes because we were in a hurry so I still had Landon's team jersey on that said Cougars on it. To say we had the best time was an understatement. It was like nothing I have ever done in my life. Matt and I laughed because we have been married longer then most of the kids at the Tap have been alive but that didn't stop us from being Rock Stars for the night. We got home at 3:45am and got the kids up for school and I made it to my 8:30am work out class. I can mark Rock Star mom off my list of cool things I have done.


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My Ride or Die Friend Jana

Today I say goodbye to my ride or die friend. The friend that never asks why. She just says OKAY! This friend never lets me down in a pinch. No, she hasn't died. She is just moving to Colorado but, I feel like she is moving to Mars.

I would love to say Jana and I were instant, fall in love with each other friends from the very first, but nope, it didn't happen that way. Her kids aren't the same age as mine or in the same friend groups and Jana is much younger then me (10 years younger to be exact ). She is not really in any organization or activity I participate in unless I drag her to them or volunteer her for something. We don't even go to the same church.

The first time I ever met Jana was at a PTO meeting at the park. She couldn't even listen to the meeting because her kids were running everywhere even in the parking lot. After at least the 50th time she got up she just decided to leave. I sent her a message afterwards thanking her for coming to the meeting because I know what it feels like to be the new person. She gave me her cell number in case I ever needed anything. Since I am terrible with names I entered her in my phone as Jana PTO Mother Runner because all she did was run after her kiddos.

As the years have gone by she has filled a void that I didn't even know I had. She makes me laugh, often makes me shake my head and is always the person I can cry with. She always makes me feel better when I'm having a bad day. When Jana is around, or on the phone, or even texting I know I'm not alone.

Jana has the most amazing talent. She can draw and paint anything. I can't tell you how many times the night before a event I would be like, Jana can you paint this and her answer was always yes. She has even painted signs in the rain for me. I would ask Jana to order something off Amazon because I don't have Amazon Prime and before I could even pay her she would order it. My phone needed a new battery and before I could even get to Bryan to get one she had ordered it and shipped it. She has helped me pick up the kids at school more times then I could count because I would almost run out of gas in the parking lot and I would catch a ride with her. Talking about gas she has even brought me gas on the side of the road a few times when I ran out and never made me feel bad about it. I have to admit I would accidentally leave my oldest at school and she would always pick him up. That is where she got her other nick name School Mom.

Landon's 10th birthday looked straight out of a Pinterest Board it was perfect all the signs she painted made that day extra special for him and his friends.

Payce and I were going to see Cinderella and she didn't have anything to wear and Jana came right over and hot glued her a fairy princess dress that cost us a $1.00 it was perfect and she looked just like Cinderella.

Not only is Jana very talented but she is STRONG! The things she does I could never do. She comes across as a tiny petite girl but she could take you down. I have seen her change her own tire on the side of the road and not even get dirty.

One of the most memorable things we ever did was enter the Centerville Christmas Parade just because. She painted the signs, I decorated and we put 6 kids on a trailer with a generator, candy, lights and BAM The Shatin's float was made. No orginization needed just friends enjoying life and each other.

Last week a few of our friends got together and had Jana and her kids a going away party. It was so good to be surrounded by people that love and want the best for her but we were all so sad that she is leaving.

Now that you know the reasons she is my Ride or Die friend and most of the reasons I will miss her let me just wrap up my friendship with Jana by sharing the biggest reason I am going to miss her so very much. I know she would fight a bear for me. I know she would be willing to lay down her life for me and that means more than anything.

To say goodbye to my friend has been a struggle . I just want to throw a fit and beg her not to go. I'm so sad my Ride or Die friend is gone. I am better for knowing her.

Top of the World with Very Special Guest

The Top of the World restaurant provided a slice of cake for my birthday with a lit candle. What they didn't realize is they gave me the best gift in the world and I didn't even see it coming.

My grandmother was alive for 88 years and she passed away in 2015. Nanner, as the grandchildren called her, had retired from Sam Houston State University with 26 years of service. What most folks don't know is she had a crippled hand that she always tried to hide. She was born with it, but never let it stop her from getting a job and enjoying life. She had dementia for last 9 years of her life before the Good Lord called her home. Her birthday was May 22nd so we always use to celebrate together.

This year in Vegas I knew something was different. I didn't know if it was because Diane was with us, because I wasn't with Matt, or what. Tonight when the gentleman brought me my cake and his hand was crippled just like Nanner's I broke down. I knew it was Nanner telling me Happy Birthday. Mom and I both tried to hold it together. We failed miserably!  Without saying a word we knew she was with us and had been with us this whole trip. At this point the guy quickly walked away from the table. While the candle was melting all over the cake we asked our server to come back and take a picture but, I couldn't bring myself to blow out the candle. I had no other thought then to thank God for that moment and the ability to share my birthday with her again. I closed my eyes and finally made my wish and when I blew out the candle and opened my eyes it was like she was gone.
The feeling I had the whole weekend was just gone. I forgot how much I missed her laugh, her need to have fancy things, to eat a nice restaurants, and she always wanted us to look perfect. I got mad because we should of had the last nine years that dementia stole from us but I had her back for the weekend in spirit. With Nanner along for the ride we had a heck of time in Vegas.

Without even noticing or thinking we had incorporated all her favorites and mine. I believe now that having Nanner along in spirit was why Vegas was different. She was with us and the last night of our trip when I blew out our birthday candle she had to go back.

I love you Nanner and miss you everyday.

When I took my birthday pictures the photographer took a lot of random pictures. I had no idea after last night that this would be my very favorite one.

Top of the World

Yes, I'm still in Vegas. We come home today. I'm sorry about not posting to the blog yesterday. I will try and write two today and catch up.

Spending Monday in Vegas reminds me that the show must go on. My family had school and work and I didn't prepare myself for how worried I would be over some dang peanut butter sandwiches. One kid likes creamy and one crunchy and you have to make sure you put it on both sides of the bread. One likes strawberry jelly and one grape. Of course I can't help but worry about what they are wearing because I didn't lay their clothes out before I left. Matt is an amazing father but I'm the mom and these things are my job. 

Landon also had his first baseball game of the season. Two other parents and Matt said he had a awesome game even though they lost by one run. It is great the kids can still enjoy what they love even while crying buckets of tears because they are missing their mom so much. I still have to wipe away a tear because they are growing up so fast.

Vegas is amazing! Everything is so pretty here. It is like a dream come true even though I have been here before. This time had such a different feel about it.   

Today was filled with more tourist stuff. We shopped a little and gambled some. I lost my $40 and was done with that. My baby works to hard for his money. Oh yes, we ate and drank. Lets talk about drinking water for a second, not that I'm a water connoisseur, but the water here is terrible. I drank a sip from a glass in our hotel and spit it back in the glass. Last night I just needed some good water. It had been three days and I needed water. At the restaurant I asked the waiter if they had Voss water. That was the best $22 I have spent on this trip. Matt doesn't care how much I spend on water because I have to have it to live. Matt is the Public Works Director in our town. I will blog more about that later. You don't know how much you take water for granted till you don't have it or it is nasty.

I talked mom and Diane in to riding the roller coaster at New York, New York. We got on feeling like spring chickens and got off feeling like the Grim Reaper was at our door step. My mom and Diane will turn 60 next year. They are so dang cool. 

Today also was our no taxi day so city bus transportation it is. Everything was all good during the day but at night it was rough. We had nice dinner reservations at a very nice restaurant a ways down the strip so we get on the bus looking like a million dollars to go to dinner. So far all good and when we exited the bus it was still going good.  After dinner we had to wait at the bus stop for ever, all dressed up. Not good, not good. At one point I turned to mom just to give her a look of reassurance because she was kind of pushed in the corner at the bus stop. When I looked down she had a huge rock in her hand. Her exact words were, "nobody is going to sneak up on me. I watch to much ID Channel. I will leave DNA and I'm going to startle them with this rock." It took us over a hour to get back to our room. When I returned to the room I got a sweet message from a friend that said,  "ride the bus it will take you to Fairmont Street. Only go during the day not at night." To late for that info...lol We are alive!!

We ate at the Top of the World for dinner. The food was delicious and the view is the best in town. It revolves around 360 degrees every 80 minutes. The atmosphere was very soothing .At the end of the night they brought me a cake with a candle lit. I haven't blown out a birthday candle in almost 20 years. As our waiter set the cake down and I looked up to make my wish it hit me like a ton of bricks why this time it felt so different being in Vegas.

This story will be continued tomorrow. I want to go enjoy the rest of my day till I get to see my family tonight. I love y'all.  

Free doesn't always mean free

Today was our "free day" in Vegas. That means we were going to only go to attractions that were free. First was Counting Cars Garage a show featured on T.V. Diane loves that show! They had a tour you walk through so you could look at the vehicles they have redone. Up next was Pawn Stars. We got to walk around the store and look at stuff that was bought on the show. Third was the flower gardens at the Wynn, fourth was watching the volcano erupt at our hotel and last was Fremont Street.We took taxis to all these locations so at the end of the day nothing is free.

Our truly free activity of the day was a Selfie Scavenger Hunt. We each had 40 things to take a picture of, but we could stay together because our lists were different.This ended up being the coolest thing so far on the trip.

From the moment we woke up the picture taking began. To say this was one of the funnest things I have ever done would be an understatement. I will give you some examples of what was on the list
1) Take a picture with the Chef that prepared your meal
 2) take a picture with a bride
3) sneak in a strangers group picture and so on.
Every time someone said no to a selfie you had to take a shot. Nobody has had to take a shot but me, but that was only because it was given to me for my birthday.

We attended a wedding today at the Graceland Wedding Chapel. We saw a couple all dressed up and we asked could we go in and witness their love and they said sure. That was so much fun seeing young love. I get the WHOLE Vegas wedding thing now. It has a very cool vibe being in a little chapel saying I Do in front of a man dressed like Elvis. I get it now!!

We ended the night seeing a show called Crazy Girls. It is the longest running burlesque show in Vegas. Timeless right? I kept thinking are we at a strip club? Are we in the right place? It was lots of boobs and ass. It really was a great show but I felt a little dirty when I walked out.

 Today has by far been my favorite!! We have ate and drink a "little" today. I took a nap so we could have a round two for the day that isn't making it in the blog. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right??

Vegas Baby!!

Last month Mom, Diane and Carroll surprised me with with round trip tickets and hotel to Vegas to celebrate my 40th Birthday. Everyone knows my mom but a lot of you don't know Diane. Diane has been my mom's friend for 47 years. They lost touch over the years and when my Grandmother passed away Diane came to the funeral it had been almost 25 years since they had seen each other. I feel my grandmother sent her back to us.

VEGAS BABY I'm in VEGAS!! This town never sleeps and food oh the food is amazing. We are staying at the Mirage. Today we have walked and walked, my feet hurt. We did some window shopping, laughed, ate and people watched. It was my day to pick the restaurants for dinner. Guess where I picked?? The Eiffel Tower Restaurant at the Paris Hotel. 

On our way to dinner We got a taxi because it was to far to walk in my hooker shoes. The second we got into the Taxi I was thinking we were going to get kidnapped, It stunk so bad and he didn't look like a normal taxi driver! When we told him where we were going he turns to us and said " is it okay to take the long way" Fuck no it's not okay it's my turn to pay for the Taxi. Of course with a nice southern mouth I said " Just get us there fast please." $20.00 for driving us one block. I was so aggravated but we were alive and at our destination. 

The restaurant was breathtaking. The view, the drinks and the atmosphere was just as I imagined and more. The only thing missing was Matt. We got seated at the window right in front of the the fountains. It was unbelievably amazing until this fishy smell hit us. Lets Pray it was something someone was eating and not someone. We get the menu and everything had nuts or meat on the main course. After asking the waiter what could I eat he said this seafood platter so I ordered it. Well Houston we have a problem. It came to the table the WHOLE lobster, crab legs, oysters and shrimp that I had to peel. YOUR KIDDING ME RIGHT??  I promise to blog about my food issues one day. So y'all will understand this moment fully soon. There was a WHOLE animal on my plate and they wanted me to crack it and eat it. Long story short the waiter peeled all my food for me. I have never had cold lobster before it it was interesting . I will be honest dinner was rough!! I'm sure it was rough on the waiter too because I know he was thinking he was going to get paid in penny's thinking these are some white trash people.

We got a great taxi drive from the Paris Hotel back to the Mirage and the ride and tip was $8. Just saying!!! As the night ended we made it back to the room safe.

 I couldn't help but feel like I had failed as a mom missing Landon's Opening Day of Baseball today. Farrah was out of water and Matt could have really used my help. Thank God for a good husband and father who never made me feel bad for not being there.

I'm still holding on to Friday's blog post in my mind. I wanted to share something that happened while I was writing it. After I was finished with my rough draft of the blog about the kids school. I realized so much about an important part in my life that had came to a end. It was like I seen Leon in a whole new light. I learned I had never accepted my role in elementary of helping had ran its course. The kids were really happy with me not being there and the school was doing a great job without me. The pain was so real I decided not to blog anymore because it was such raw emotion day after day,  I just never wanted to feel that venerable. After publishing the unedited version that night totally embarrassing and I also deleted 4 paragraphs just because it was to boring. I was like why am I doing this. This morning when I was editing it I realized it healed my soul in a way nobody could understand. So instead of sharing my food collages on my Facebook page I will continue to blog . 

Dont make me go Haper Vally PTO

Have you ever had a joke turn in to a reality? Well that is what happened to me yesterday. At Leon Elementary's PTO meeting I said, "I should write a blog about Harper Valley PTA, I mean Leon PTO." I was just kidding of course. Then I got to thinking about it. I have been in PTO or PTA for 10 years now. I have had a kid in the public education system for 10 years, well really 11, but who is counting. 

When Thomas was young I knew right away he had a problem with his speech. Since I was from Huntsville I knew Sam Houston State University offered a great speech program and we started that for Thomas when he was three. When we moved to Bastrop he started going to public school and had speech therapy twice a week. Landon was just a few weeks old and he and I would sit in the office and while we waited on Thomas. We didn't know anyone in Bastrop and this 30 minutes twice a week became my lifeline. 

The first day of kindergarten Thomas was so excited to stay a whole day at school. When I picked him up I just knew he would be filled with so much excitement. When I saw him I knew immediately something was wrong. His pale face was red and his nose was huge. As soon as he saw he started crying uncontrollably. I couldn't understand a word he was saying. Thomas stuttered really bad but, after what seemed like forever, I finally understood he had hit a post on the play ground chasing kids. He didn't want to be embarrassed by trying to talk on the first day of school so he went and hid till he could get the blood to stop and never said a word. If someone, anyone would have looked at his face they would have known there was a problem. We went to the emergency room where it was confirmed that Thomas had broken his nose. Thank God I had all evening and night to hide my crazy and act like a lady the next morning.

It was at that moment that I knew I was going to join the PTA. A situation like Thomas' was never going to happen to another kid!! My one job I gave myself was to always look each child in the face and look down at their shoes and make sure they were tied. Every day for years no matter what office I held or didn't hold in PTA/PTO one thing was always important. I wanted to make sure no kid felt like they were just a number and that every teacher knew they were loved. Bastrop teachers were spoiled, but they were always so grateful.
Landon was always my side kick on campus so four years later when he started school, the school was truly his second home. I can't tell you how many times that boy got in trouble for going to see Mrs. Taylor. When Payce started school we were at Emile more then we were at our house. I always felt they needed us as much as we needed them. I miss that feeling.  
So we decided to move to Leon. In my mind I'm thinking what are we going to do at this podunk school in the middle of no where. I can't do it. I'm not going to do it. We are going to drive back and forth to Bryan. I felt that way until we went to meet the teacher night before school started. Boy does Leon ISD know how to put a whole new meaning to don't judge a book by its cover. The school inside was beautiful, the bulletin boards were current and up to date, the teachers were very friendly and what I noticed right away is a lot of the teachers made it a priority to touch the students. They would either put their hand on the student's shoulder or shake their hand or even give them a hug. I just love that!! This school also did theme Fridays and the school had a theme for the whole year. I love THEMES!!! I was sold on Leon Elementary right there. The first day of school came and went and the kids loved it. It's three years later and they still love going to school everyday. I believe they would go year round and not think twice about it.

For me, I still struggle from time to time. I will never forget when we first moved here getting stopped at the double doors one morning. I was going to volunteer and I couldn't go in. I had to wait for someone to come get me. I turned around and left and cried two hours because I couldn't go in my own kids school. When Matt got home and I swallowed my pride I was thankful that this small school had such great security. They didn't know me and now I know my kids are safe and to tell you the truth my kids are so glad I'm not up there all the time.
They were so spoiled at Emile. I truly didn't notice how bad till I was having teacher conferences that first year at Leon and they were behind on basic skills. I have really seen them grow in the last three years but still to this day I don't know my role at Leon.
The first year I wasn't really involved. I people watched. The second year I was very involved. I joined PTO and was elected Box Top Coordinator. I witnessed activities and events and realized this school didn't need me. They had a system. I also realized I was truly tired of either saying or thinking this isn't how Bastrop does it. So I stepped back in 2016. but do I miss it everyday. I want to do so much at the school and have skills I think sometimes they could use but the truth is the school administrative and teachers do a great job. They do things different but that isn't a bad thing.
So I guess now you want the true low down on the PTO. Are you are wondering the difference in PTO and PTA if your still reading. One is an organization, one is an association. One has different bylaws, insurance, nonprofit status, blah blah blah.
So lets Harper Valley PTA it right now. Who am I kidding. No offense Leon PTO ladies but you are not Harper Valley PTO at all. And, that's a good thing! The president is the one and only Julie Noey. Everyone gives her 100%. The staff respects her and loves her. I would sum her up as the Godmother of the school. She never seems to panic, she is fair, honest and always hears both sides of the story. I admire that the most about her. Our Vice President has a calendar. I call it her Bible. She is very efficient in her job. Her mother and sister work at the school so she always has her ear to the ground to what PTO can do to help. Our secretary is a preachers wife. She is mighty but very soft spoken. She is very thorough and detailed with her reports. She has tiny features but every time I see her I think "Though she be little, she is fierce" by William Shakespeare. Our Treasurer is DeRonda. I love to push her buttons. I could tell you I'm to grown for that but, I'm not. She is really tight with the purse strings. Whenever you mention PTO money she starts twitching! I laugh and say, "It ain't your money." She gets all red faced and then she gets all flustered. Even though I give her a hard time about the money I know she just wants to make sure we do everything exactly right and is super supportive of all things Leon.
Also on the PTO Board is Winter. She took my position as Box Top Coordinator from last year. She does things last minute and is the shopper for the group. She can make and do anything. She is a very talented and I still think she can do more then what she does decorating wise. Winter and I run a nonprofit together so I will blog more about her later. You can guess I love her a little. Then you have Wende she loves the school so much. She is so passionate about making sure the kids and teachers get what they want and need. For the last two years she has been a board member and doesn't even have a kid in elementary! That is love and to be honest I think she is amazing. Leon ISD is lucky to have her.
I know we have other board members and a great group of ladies that come to the meeting. In fact we had one lady giving away eggs yesterday. They were brown, white and even duck eggs. Sometimes I'm still shocked at how country we are. Like where else does this happen?? I love we are a bunch of ladies trying to do right by the school, our kids, and the teachers while running ranches and farms. No I didn't take any eggs I'm not ready for the co-op just yet. 

On a serious note I would like to say many moons ago I decided I would run for School Board. Nobody panic I'm not saying I'm going to do it at Leon, but one day I will run somewhere. I love public schools and only want it to be the best and I feel I can help by being on the board. Until then I have sit back and find other organizations to fill my time and know my kids are safe, loved and being taken care of by the best teachers. They don't need my help as a mother as I'm crying now saying that is a great feeling to know Leon's Got This!! It is just hard to let go of such a big piece of me. 

Using all the colors in the Box

You have been seeing them at every store you go in and have often picked them up and looked through them just to set them back down. Well, today I bought one. My very own Grown Up Coloring Book. Payce loves to color so I surprised her with mine. She had received one from her grandmother for Christmas and she was so excited for me to share this with her. 

As we started coloring at first It was a lot of fun, coordinating all the flowers and pattern colors, but I was shocked at how time consuming this was. Who has time for this? Then I looked at my daughter and she was happy that I took time out of my chaotic day to color in a coloring book with her. After about 10 minutes I kept thinking I needed to get up and pack, pick up the house, start laundry and maybe even cook dinner, but there I was coloring. I decided to stop every 30 minutes to clean, cook and parent the other two kids I have. Who am I kidding? My hand was cramping SO bad. It took many hours to finish my picture. 

Maybe there is something to this coloring I felt so relaxed the rest of the evening but my hand was throbbing. I'm adding coloring to the to old for me category. My hand hurts!!!  

                        
Coloring caused me to think of my past 39 years and how much color I have seen with my very own eyes. I have seen peoples true colors. I have seen the sky change colors and I have seen my soul go from very dark to bright. I have done so much in my life. Some life experiences I talk about often and some I have only shared with a few. I don't have a claim to fame but I try to leave a little color everywhere I go. I feel my life is a kaleidoscope. When I look through the hole it is so full of color but it is always spinning. People often joke that we need a reality show and maybe one day I would even slow down to watch it.

Random fact my favorite color is red.  

A normal Wednesday

You know the day you blog about your kids and you paint this great image of them and then all hell breaks lose the next day??? Well, that is what happened today!

This morning at 3 am I heard Payce throwing up in the utility room. My first thought was, oh no my suitcase. You see I put my suitcase in the laundry room to unpack it from this past weekend and to repack it for this weekend. Payce's room IS closest to the bathroom and she had to pass two rooms to get to the laundry but that is where she decided to do her business. In my haze of consoling her and thinking what the hell, I vaguely remembered a Pinterest life hack that said pour coffee grounds on throw up.  After I consoled Payce I grabbed Matt's coffee grounds and poured the whole container on the mess, closed the door and went back to bed.

So then at 5 am Thomas woke up to the smell of coffee. He goes to investigate the smell,  opens the laundry room door and black stuff was everywhere and the odor of coffee was so strong he started gagging. By the time I got there I was gagging because I have a very weak stomach and am not a coffee drinker. I have never even tried it because of the smell. Anyway, getting back on track to the story. Thomas is looking at me crazy and I explain what happened. He decided to go sleep in the game room.

At 6:30 am Matt wakes up and can't find his Folgers anywhere. I can hear him looking in the pantry and banging stuff around I lay in bed laughing because I know he is fixin' to be mad. He yells, "Baby where is my coffee" and I reply, "In the washer and dryer room." So you can imagine how our morning went from there. He kept saying, "I so hate Pinterest." The good news is the throw up came up so easy. I would do that again, but you really just need a little coffee. The whole container was over kill.

I could wrap up my blog here and I know all my readers would LOL and share a smile with me, but that's not the end of today's story!

Today is Wednesday. It is the night we go Mexia for the kids to do first communion and confirmation classes. We have been doing this for almost two years because last year when it was time for First Communion they said Payce didn't have enough hours. Well I can tell you if I'm taking one to Mexia, I'm taking them all, but I'm not even going to go there right now. Last year after what seemed like a week of Payce being heart broken that she couldn't do First Communion with the boys a light bulb went off and she realized that waiting a year meant First Communion would be ALL about her! She got right to work planning her Quincenera. She picked a light up dress, crown, sequin wand and even the boy's clothes. I keep saying it is your first communion but she didn't listen.

My point to telling you all that is we only have 5 weeks left and I didn't realize what a part of our story our Wednesday routine is. We pick the kids up from school, they do homework on the way to Mexia, we eat dinner with them, then we drop them off at church and Matt and I go on a date. We have eaten at every restaurant in Mexia and shopped at almost every store. We have witnessed high speed chases and just missed a robbery at Walmart. I'm so full emotion thinking about how I didn't cherish the car rides with the kids screaming at each other and asking me to change the music 100 times. Where I always looked at it like an obligation just now I am seeing it as a commitment to the Lord to bring out family closer. Knowing once a week we were having dinner as a family and then Matt and I were guaranteed alone time for a hour and half was priceless.

Here's what I really want you to get. Being a Martin means no matter what happens in the day, no matter all the crazy that surrounds my life, at the end of the day we stick together. Knowing our Wednesday night routine and having that time to reconnect in the middle of the week has been a lifesaver and one that I now realize I will miss with all my heart. If I could challenge all of you to do just one thing it would be to find those moments, cherish them and don't let anything life throws at you get in the way them. Including 3 a.m. throw ups!

Motherhood

I have been a mother for 16 years out of 40 years on this earth. I always say we are going to have these kids forever. Thomas is 16, Landon 11, and Payce 8. I worry we will be grandparents before we get our youngest out of school. I will be 48 years old when my last graduates from high school.

Every time Thomas has a birthday I cry the week before his birthday thinking how do I have a kid this old or where did the time go. I wish I was a better mom and of course I'm like dang I wanted to be the hot mom, you know the MIF. He is so much like me in his thinking. He is hard headed, stubborn and when he KNOWS he is right there is no reasoning with him. Some days I want to help him but I know he will have to figure it out on his own the hard way. I love that kid more then he will ever know. In the back of my mind I believe he saved me. He is my rock and I always tease him about being my password to life.

My Landon is the middle one. His birthdays come and go and I don't blink a eye. He will still let me rock him to sleep at 11 because he is my baby kid. He is his daddy made over and he holds a special place in my heart. He is my perfectionist and always puts his best foot forward. On the other hand he is ALWAYS the victim and NOTHING is ever his fault. Some people think he is my favorite but truly I don't have a favorite. He could raise himself right now and he is so easy going!! When I was pregnant with Landon I just knew he was a girl so during the ultra sound when it was a boy I cried and then I cried some more but, every day I thank God for him.

When Matt and I got pregnant the third time whether boy or girl we decided we were done. I prayed really hard for a healthy girl. Boy did I get that and more. She has taught me to be very careful what I pray for and to be a little more specific. She is beautiful, a free spirit, sassy, mouthy and full of herself. Some days I watch her coloring or sleeping when she is quiet and think she is all mine.

Everything we do as a family is an event and nothing ever goes smooth. We are always running around with our heads cut off. I always say we may not have it all together but together we have it all. . Our kids are unique and hard to describe on paper. If you don't really know them you are missing out. They make me get up every morning.

Matt had a son when we got married. He was 2 at the time and is now 19. Austin lives in Texas and works for a company in his hometown. Matt and Austin have a very special bond. A few years ago, Matt and I were introduced to two kids that changed our family's life. We thought we were saving them but truly they saved us. They have now gone home and started thier lives over. I only get to see one of them now. She is going to A&M to become a professor. She is my plus one.

I love being a mother of these 6 amazing kids. It has been 16 years since I have put myself first and this year I have been thinking of me more and what makes me happy and I can tell you these kids may be the death of me but I love them very much and they truly make me happy.

Let me eat cake!

I have struggled with my weight for 16 years. At my heaviest I was 254 pounds. This year I decided I wanted to do something about it. I look at those moms at the kid's school and as I drink my haterade I think about how they always look so put together; hair, nails, nice clothes, and perfect bodies. I imagine their cars and houses are all clean and they sit around and eat cake all day. It made me fall further into depression and I would go eat everything in the house.

2016 is the year for change! I visited with those ladies to see how they seem to have it all and what I learned is they just hide it better then me. They shared tips for how to juggle taking care of myself and my family. So I made a plan and put it in action.
First, I talked to my family and told them about the lifestyle change we were all going to do, not just me. Second, I started a group called Getting Fit in 2016 Martin Style on Facebook. I asked my family and friends to post their struggles and tips. It has been great to see even the "skinny" people struggle with the same issues "fat" people do. Third, I started walking the track. Soon I had a posse and we would walk after we dropped the kids off. We were up to 10,000 steps every morning until I stopped. We need to start that back ladies.

Forth, I hired a personal trainer. You would think in this small town we wouldn't have one but, low and behold we have Elizabeth Dyson. She has a Bachelors degree in Kinesiology with a minor in Health from Sam Houston State University. She offers a personal meal plan, daily motivation, fitbit challenges and private workout sessions. You are also supposed to send her pictures of your food but I'm never eating healthy anymore so I normally pass on that service. She has a plan for all budgets and body types. She makes me sweat a lot and it stinks, I hate to sweat!! She is so passionate about helping others reach their health and fitness goals and she truly makes me feel like she cares about my health.

Fifth, I started to attend Zumba with Tammy in Jewett on a regular basis. At first I could only make it through half of her class and I would have to sit. Now I can Zumba almost all the way through her class before I think I'm dying. I have learned my body can do some awesome moves. I leave feeling sexy, fit and beautiful. I get over 8000 steps in her class and a whole body work out.

Finally, Rob and Elissa Garza opened a fitness center called JTX Fitness in our town. Tell me that was a sign from the Lord that this is my year for fitness. Matt and I joined we are really excited about this so we can work on our fitness goals together. The Gym also offers classes by Elizabeth that I attend Mon/Wed/Fri Boot Camp at 8:30 am, Yoga/Pilates class at 9:30. She tries to kill me in boot camp but it is so worth the pain I guess.

I have contacted It Works,Plexus and Shakeology dealers but the truth is I don't want to take a pill or drink a drink everyday because I can barley remember my thyroid meds and the cost is a little high right now for us, however I do think the products work and I haven't ruled any of it out.

So with all the above being said the truth is I'm over it all!!! I wish  Elizabeth would keep my money and let me eat cake. I wish I didn't feel guilty when I miss Tammy's class and most of all I wish I wouldn't be FAT when I eat a lot of cake.I want to get back in a routine where I meal prep on Sundays and we only have fresh food in our house, but I'm tired of thinking about food all the time.

In closing I'm not giving up on myself just yet I keep saying remember why you started. Can't a girl go to the fat doctor??? Losing weight is hard, Maintaining weight is hard. Staying over weight is hard. I'm choosing my hard as we speak.

Bucket List

I would say my bucket list is a word I use often. When I want to go somewhere and don't have the money I say " I will add that to my list". When I see a place on T.V. I want to go to I think I will add it to my list. I talk about my list so much that a friend bought me a bucket that says Bucket List. I decided to narrow my list down to 40 thing to accomplished by the time I turn 41. I knew this list would take sometime so I have been working on it for a year now and really haven't  knocked off that many. So without further ado here is my list.

1) Medieval Times
✅)circus
3) hog hunting
4) Joel Olsen church
✅) Texas Rangers baseball game
6) Houston Texans football game
✅) make a quilt
8) can some food
✅) run/walk a 5K
✅) Go to Six flag
✅)  Go to the American girl store
✅) Trampoline park with Landon
13) zip line
14) outside movie theater
15) Zumba class till I get a certificate
16) George Bush library
18)40 things off Pinterest
✅) Go to the State Fair
✅) plant a garden
20) take the kids snow skiing
✅)  top golf
22) picnic like you see in the movies
23) concert
24) comedy performance
✅) try sushi
26) coon hunting
✅) payce in a pageant
28) wrap a house
29) kayak with Thomas
30)Go to Paris "Texas"
31) have the kids picture painted
32) shoot a hand gun
33) Seeing the bats I'm Austin
34) Go to the Fort Worth stockyards
35) Houston Zoo
36) Go to Vegas
37) grand entry at the livestock show
38) participate in a barbecue cook-off
39) Fredericksburg for the weekend
40) looking in to buying the bayou

I keep taking a tattoo on and off the list. So as of now I have decided to leave it off. I keep imagining me in the nursing home with dementia wondering what the hell that is on my body and scratching it till it bleeds everyday. I will pass on that thought for now. If you or someone you know can help me have the means to accomplish this I will be forever in your debt.

Fruit for the Family.

Today I ordered my first birthday treat. It was an edible arrangement. We are staying all weekend at a bed and breakfast and I thought it would be a healthy snack for the kids to eat on over the weekend.
Before we left Jewett I got on the website and placed a order. They website was easy to access, colorful and showed all the different size arrangements with the move of the mouse and a option for checking out with is PayPal. Ordering was easy and fast plus I had a coupon! When we got there to pick it up it was wrapped so nice and great customer service. The kids and I were so excited we couldn't wait to starting eating it. When we got back to the room we couldn't open it so we tore it open like presents on Christmas morning. The fruit was beautiful, looked fresh and tasted amazing. I ordered the small arrangement and It had more then enough fruit on it to last two days. So my review of a edible arrangement is, great website, arrangement was beautiful, fruit was great and knowing my kids had a healthy snack all weekend instead of chips, cookies and candy was worth the price. I give it 5 stars!!

We stayed close to the Bed and Breakfast today because the wedding is at 3 and pictures are at 12. The kids made up a game call steal the sock at the end of the day it is ironic you buy the kids all the toys they want and they end up playing with socks. At the end of the day no matter what my delusions of this being about my birthday it is not. We are here because two people fell in love and we wanted to share this moment with them.

I guess you should know I'm a sucker for two things a wedding and a baby shower. I don't care if it is your first or your 8th I'm in, present and all. Not much on wedding showers or birthdays because I never feel like I buy the right thing and they open it right in front of you.
With that being said the wedding and reception tonight was so pretty Brandy loves Andy so much and when she looked in his eyes at the church it was so heart warming. I would guess that's what every mother wants for her son to find a bride for her son with so much heart. The Hall and the decorations are very pretty and the food was nice. The cake was perfect for them and well the guest book was nice but not as pretty as the quilt but I understand why she didn't want her guest to sign on it because it was beautiful. All and all love wins every time. God, Good food and amazing family. Welcome to the family Brandy. #martinforever2016

When we got back to the bed and breakfast we noticed fireflies everywhere. We all stopped what we were doing and caught fireflies. Catch and realse of course. It was a very magical night.

Paint me Gruene

First  weekend away on my forty day count down starts today. Matt's brother is getting married in Gruene so we decided to come up a day early and make a little mini vacation out of it. 

We are staying at Gruene Homestead Inn it is the most quaint family-oriented bed and breakfast I've ever been to. I'm so in love with the grounds and the amenities. The breakfast was very good and the kids love swimming, playing washers and horseshoes and our rooms over look the vineyards . The Homestead Inn is only 3min from the Historical District of Gruene.

This afternoon we headed to Gruene to shop where Landon feel in love with an old cowboy hat in an antique store I couldn't help but buy. He never really wants anything so I bought it and then we went to Gruene Hall to play pool. We walked down to the Guadalupe river and the kids have tried to talk us in to rafting on Sunday, we probably will go. Lets pray for rain!! As we made our way up the hill back to the historical district I saw a winery and went in and did a wine tasting and tried to buy 3 bottles of wine. They wouldn't let me use my card because I didn't have my ID.  Why do I not have my id?? Because I have to have it in a week and I'm scared I'm going to lose it so I left it at home. The lady wouldn't even let me use my debt card but I could use the ATM with a $5.00 fee. I was so aggravated I walked out I didn't even pay for the wine tasting. Not going to let that ruin our time we headed to the the Comal river. It was so beautiful and a Cemetery was across the street so we decided to go over. There were headstones from 1809. It was so tranquil to be in the cemetery over looking the Comal. 

We headed back to room to get ready for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner were Matt was catering and is a usher in the wedding. We are all dressed and ready to walk out the door and Payce our youngest busted the zipper out of her dress. So I ran in and started sewing her in the dress because we are all dressed to match perfect. As we make our way to the hall it didn't disappoint it has an old world charm filled with unique landscape.  It was time for dinner and it was phenomenal. Greek chicken and lamb kabobs, Greek salad with homemade cheese cake. When Andy and Brandy thanked everyone for coming she also announced we were not using the quilt as a guest book and she went out and bought a book today and that is what we will be signing tomorrow. I'm so happy she loved her quilt. 

As the evening winds to a close we ended up at Tavern in the Gruene what a cozy atmosphere to drink some beer and celebrate my count down to 40... yeah I mean Andy and Brandy getting married. Lol 

Stiches of My Life

   

In 2014 I went to my very first quilt show. To be honest I didn't even know what that was much less what you do at it but there isn't a lot to do in this town so I went. I was mesmerized from the moment I walked in the door. When I arrived I received a program book talking about the quilts with a set of gloves because you were welcome to touch the quilts but only when wearing the gloves. This rule was highly enforced, trust me on that. There was over 100 quilts on display hanging all over the Civic Center.  I was so fascinated by these truly amazing art pieces that sit in our closets or on lay on our beds. In a short eight hours I soaked up all the knowledge I could from anyone that would talk to me. I started with Teri Walker. She owns a local quilt shop in town called Country living Quilts. WOW she is a wealth of quilting knowledge. She took me right under her wing and seemed so happy to show me the basics of this underground world I knew nothing about. I also found out our little town actually had two quilt shops. Next, I moved on to Kristy Vandegriff and her mom, Nell Linton. They showed me the different pattern styles and what binding a quilt meant.

As I finished walking around admiring all the quilts I noticed lots of vendor booths selling quilting everything. Of course I didn't know what half the stuff was, but people were eager to show me. That year a quilt sold for $2000.00 and a few appraised for over $1000.00. Yes a lady gets paid to appraise quilts. Who knew?? As I was leaving and thanking Kristy for a wonderful day she said, "I bought you something." It was an Elf on the Shelf piecing kit. I was so excited and immediately had big plans. I was going to make three quilts for the kids for Christmas. Keep in mind the quilt show was in October of that year.

A few weeks later Kristy took me shopping for the back material for the quilt and we discussed how I was going to piece my quilts together. I thought this is going to be so easy and fun. I never stopped to think about the fact that I had never sewed anything in my life. So I informed Kristy I had never sewed and I suck at math. You would be shocked at how much math is in quilting. We started with sewing 101. After working on my first quilt a few Sundays it was clear one quilt was all I could get done in this time frame. I truly had no idea how hard it was going to be. I was thinking wham bam done.  That year I did finish one quilt and to say I was proud of it was a understatement but NO kid was getting that quilt. I would have died if they spilled something on it or were dragging it around on ground. That year Matt bought me a sewing machine for Christmas and it still isn't out of the box.

Fast forward to 2015 and with the Jewett Quilt Show show approaching I entered my quilt to be displayed. It wasn't as glamorous as many others but I was so proud of it. I took third in the First Quilt Category and I was beaming with excitement. I also volunteered that year to do hospitality for the judges. I walked with them, never saying a word, just them extra sheets of paper, food, water and moving their chairs around for them so they could sit and look at the quilts. The knowledge I got from that experience was priceless. I encourage everyone to attend in 2016

.

So here we are. It has been almost a year since I made my first quilt and I thought making another quilt would be great thing to add to my 40 day countdown. Matt's brother is getting married this weekend and so I volunteered to make them a quilt for everyone to sign, like a guest book. Of course my first phone call was to Kristy asking could she help me and the second was to Teri. These ladies make it happen in the quilting world. We got together on fabric and piecing. Kristy gave up a few Sundays to help me. I had to rip a few seams out and redo the layout a few times but the finished project is perfect. I can now say I have finished two quilts in my life and I am so proud of both of them. I picked it up today from the quilter and had to share. 

                     

                      

When I Die

Let's start today with a DISCLAIMER!!! Just because I plan for something doesn't mean it is happening any time soon! And now back to my story.

 After strolling through the obituaries week after week in the local newspaper it has come to my attention that as we get older we really don't have good pictures of ourselves to use in our obituary. Someone might find a snap shot they can zoom in and cut another person out of or a picture from high school. But that's about it. Being a over thinker and planner that just won't work for me. I want to make sure I have an amazing obituary picture. So with that being said I wanted my 15/16” wide by 1-1/4” tall picture for the paper to be perfect, but I also wanted to highlight my Journey to 40.

I had no idea how hard it would really be to do a photo shoot highlighting me. I started with a trip to the Mall. I normally shop at thrift shops but I wanted to buy something nice for myself. After trying on everything that I thought I could wear and realizing that just because you think you can fit in it, that doesn't mean you look good in it. For some things I just wasn't going to pay full price, I finally settled on two outfits. Next it was time to pick out costume jewelry. Wow I haven't bought that in a while. Can you say expensive? Why is it that I buy clothes for the kids and hardly look at the price but when I am buying something for myself I have such a hard time with spending money?

Here is where I get to tell you just how God has blessed me with amazing friends and family. After realizing buying clothes, jewelry and props for my photo shoot was going to be a little more then I budgeted for, I had to rethink my plan. I went to my friends to borrow clothes, shoes and jewelry. They didn't disappoint! Some opened their closets, some let me borrow clothes with tags still on them, and one even made me a shirt. With out them I would have been taking boudoir pictures and I sure didn't want that for the all important obituary photo! Thank God for friends. right!!

Next, I needed props and of course I called up a friend. I asked her to paint a few signs for me. Funny story-one of the posters she painted asked how many teeth I had and I counted them and the next day one fell out of my head. Who counts their teeth and then the next day one falls out? Me!!  Then I had to asked a local business to order three foot tall 4 and 0 balloons and then asked them to blow up 38 small balloons. After describing what the balloons were for they looked at me like I was crazy and began trying to guess what I was doing with the balloons. "Were they for Matt's birthday? Was I using the balloons to hide my private parts or were the balloons for a friend?"  It always brightens my day when I know I need something at the greenhouse in town because I'm always greeted with so much love.

So next I had to work on hair, make up, and a tan. Well of course I have a friend for that too. She works at the Hair Affair in Jewett. The look she picked out for me was perfect. I not only felt beautiful and looked amazing, but to share that moment with a friend was very special. I will try and come back next week for her to wax my eyebrows. Who am I kidding I will not!! I truly can't stop taking selfies. I haven't felt this pretty since High School. Putting myself first is starting to grow on me. I feel amazing at this point in my journey to 40. Crazy story - on the way to get my very first spray tan Matt cut his lip on a grinder and I had to go back home to take him to the Emergency Room where he got 5 stitches and you guessed it, no tan for me. (insert sad face)

Finally it is picture time! Yelp I have a friend for that also. She and I have been friends for 9 years. I have used many photographers over the years for the kids but I needed someone that wouldn't think I was stupid, that would capture my personality and that I felt comfortable with. Lets say she didn't disappoint. I felt like a movie star. It took over three hours and 10 outfit changes. I told her I just wanted one picture I looked beautiful in, one that was cute, and three that were funny. We ended up with over 400 pictures to look through and every one of them are perfect. It is going to be hard to pick just 40.

It is nice to have amazing friends but without Matt, Mom and the Martin's I couldn't have done it. Matt let's me be me. He loves me with his whole heart. Some days I want to kill him and I know I take him for granted but he makes me who I am today and I'm blessed for that. My mom was my rock today. We laughed till our sides hurt, she worked hard today and I couldn't have done it with out her. She loves me like crazy. Last but not least I am so thankful for the Martin's for their support. These people have been my rock and pulled me out of the trenches more than a few times in the last few years. I'm blessed to be called a Martin.

Everyday for 40 days I'm going to post a picture from the photo shoot. I have decided the first one will be my obituary picture. Please note I'm as healthy as I have been in years. I am just planning for the future because the truth is we all will die and need a picture, so why not make it a great one!

The original size of my obituary picture.